Monday, July 12

baby daddy.

on friday, i took ellie to the library. she has been a few times now and she has (so far) been surprisingly well-behaved. so far we don't get any dirty looks at all, only sweet ones.

you have to know that our library isn't like the library where i grew up. it's a lot more "public" than little old pleasant grove's library. by public, i mean that anyone and everyone goes there. it's right on the bus line. it has free internet. it has air conditioning and restrooms. you catching what i'm throwing? okay, i'll make it easy: it is sort of a magnet for weirdos and crazies and downright tough customers. it's also a magnet for normal people, too. i'm just saying that it doesn't always attract the nicest crowd.

anyway, i had ellie in the baby carrier. as we were walking in, a gangster that was sitting on the bench outside started talking to me. let me explain again: gangster does not mean teenager with baggy clothes and an attitude. a gangster, outside of utah, is born-and-raised-in-the-projects, rough-looking, doo-rag-wearing, gold-teeth-grilled, pretty intimidating guy (to a small-town white girl like me).

he says, rather nicely: "oh, look! you got your baby. it's a girl?"

"yeah," i say.

then he asks me:

"is the father in the child's life?"

um. well.
i was so not (ever in my life) expecting that question. i didn't know what to say. so i laughed, of course, very nervously and said "oh, yes. he is."

"he better be! 'cause you two is just too good-lookin'."

which i am taking as a compliment, i guess.

i called husband and told him the story so we could both laugh about it. funny as it was, the rest of the weekend i haven't stopped thinking about it. two things come to mind.

a) how sad is it that this was the first thing he thought of when he saw a mother and child? what kind of life experiences have lead him to see a baby and immediately wonder if the dad is around? how many other people out there think like that? i know i have never wondered if a baby has a daddy that wants to stick around. what a shame that anyone has to think that way.

b) i am so glad that it has never been a question for me. first of all, i never had that question with my own father. more importantly, my child's father is here, with us. he wants to take care of us and play with us and cuddle us. he works hard to give us a good life and make us smile. there are some moms out there who have the strength to do it on their own, but i don't think i'm one of them.

this is what happened later a few hours later on friday afternoon, after daddy came home from work:

notice the boots and lunch box on the floor. notice that the work clothes are still on. and notice the carebear who is a part of this naptime scene.

i know it's sappy of me, but i'm really just so glad that my baby daddy is around.


Kira Dee said...

It's very interesting not living in Utah and have real gangsters around. I've had a couple of interesting questions also, from some very interesting people. They have kind of freaked me out, but at the same time, like you said, I think they were trying to be a compliment...just not the type I'm use to. Crazy.

Just SO said...

That is sad that the question even needs to be asked. I'm so glad James is such an awesome father and husband.

And that library sounds like it might be on my list of places to visit.

Saimi said...

I'm glad that gangster sat next to you. Sounds like it warmed his tough heart to see a pretty mama with her baby, a baby that actually has her dad involved in her life.

Sweet picture!

Eric said...

I wish James was my baby daddy.

MamaZweig said...

This post really warmed my heart. You're one lucky little lady!

Samantha said...

I read your story to my mom cuz i thought it was just so cute and the first thing she said is that the guy was probably trying to hit on a good way to look at it is even after a baby your still one HOT MaMa!