Friday, February 18

for lindsey, again.

this month i've been thinking again about comings and goings.
i've been especially distracted this week. i've had a lot of things on my mind, including the news of my friend lindsey's recent complications.

last february was a difficult time for me to be far away from the people and places that i've always known. here is now home because my own little family is here. i have more than one home, though, because i spent my growing up years in another place and there is such a concentration of people who care about me and i care about them very, very much. it was hard to welcome a beautiful little girl into the world without so much of my "world" physically here with me.
i had lost a wonderful aunt just days before my ellie was born. after speaking to my grandmother on the phone and telling her all about this tiny new person and reminiscing about the miracle of birth, it suddenly hit me . . . that my sweet grandmother had just lost what i had just gained: her very first darling baby, her own tiny new person. she had held her in her arms, just i had, and then she suddenly found herself having to say goodbye (for a time).
it made me sob to think of it. it makes me sob now. not a lot of things can do that.

i'm approaching the first year anniversary of motherhood and of the day when my life became something much more than i ever knew it could be. two thousand miles away, a lovely friend of mine is most likely looking toward the end of her life. barring a literal miracle (which isn't out of the question), another mother is going to lose her own tiny person.
i know it happens every day, but this is much closer to me than it has been in a while. it's especially close to my heart when i try to imagine saying goodbye to the husband and my girl and other future tiny people and i just can't. i can't fathom it. i especially hate being so far away and feeling so useless.

not only is lindsey having to think about saying goodbye, but her family is having to think about saying goodbye to her. i know she's more concerned about them and how they will carry on during this difficult time. if you could take a moment to send good thoughts and prayers their way, please do. keep especially keep in mind her husband who is enduring this with her.

visit out her family's blog in her honor and please, if you can afford it, donate to their cause. they're too young and in such a hard situation already, they shouldn't have to worry about medical bills.

above all, please live your life the best that you can. you owe it to those who aren't going to have those same opportunities.
lindsey's a beautiful person, inside and out, and a wonderful example of how to live.

i've written a post about my friend lindsey before, see here.
i also wrote a post about comings and goings at this time last year, see here.


Kristina P. said...

This is so heartbreaking. You can see her spirit in her smile. I will definitely donate.

sisterwendy said...

When you go through similar experiences as others (your dear grandma) it really opens up our eyes to what they've endured. Your comparing yourself to her brought tears to my eyes. The older you get, the more you experience, the more your heart goes out to others, and you gain compassion. I love that you are so tenderhearted. Our prayers go out to the Robinson family. xoxoxox