Wednesday, July 1

Would you like fries with that?

Sorry I haven't gotten around to the old blog.

I've been spending most of my time talking to people over a loudspeaker.
No, I'm not living in 1984 . . . but close. Big Brother is watching me.
(You think I'm kidding and I'm so not.)*

(that's me as Big Brother.)

I'm the main drive-thru girl for the lunch rush at my new job. You know that voice? The one that sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher coming out from the drive-thru box? "Would you like to make that a combo today?" That's me.

The really ironic part I rarely ever use a drive-thru. I just know that a drive-thru means I may (or may not) be sacrificing food quality and correctness for the sake of time. Plus I hate ordering in general - I feel so demanding and uppity, even when I'm making a simple order. I hate ordering through an intercom even more. Somehow I feel like I'm being difficult, even when I'm not.

Anyway, now I take the orders. Order after order after order. I know that almost every teenager in America knows how to run a drive-thru window but it took me a few times to feel comfortable doing it.

I have some advice/requests for those people who frequent drive-thru windows:

- If you're feeling extremely picky, just go inside. It will probably take almost the same amount of time and you can check your food before you leave to make sure it is right. When you ask for no cheese, no tomatoes, no onions, no mayo but add mustard and jalapenos and extra guacamole . . . you're almost asking for your sandwich to come out wrong. Then you'll have to come inside or back through the drive-thru anyway when you could have just gotten it right in the first place.

- Along those same lines, if you like your drink to have 1/4 this soda, 1/4 that soda and 1/2 something else with extra or lite ice and six Splendas . . . give us a break. Come inside and fill up your own drink.

- If it is busy, have at least some idea what you want to eat. Our managers do watch our "times" to make sure nobody is waiting too long in the drive-thru, but if you it takes you 2 minutes to order I'm pretty sure I can't keep the wait under the 3.5 minutes (which is what I'm supposed to be aiming for).

- Please don't describe what you want and ask "Do you have anything like that?" when there is a line of cars behind you.

- Be nice. You're not watching us make the food, remember? You're trusting that nothing . . . uh, bad . . . happens to it before it gets to you. Think about it. :)

Above all,
I love nothing more than someone who knows exactly what they need and how to order it correctly, pausing briefly after each item to let me put it through. At the end, that perfect someone lets me read the order back to make sure it's correct and thanks me when I'm finished.

My favorite part about drive-thru is recognizing voices and orders and knowing exactly who is waiting at the other end because they come every day and get the same thing.
Okay, my real favorite part is trying to guess what the people look like after only hearing their voices. It's so much harder than you think. Half the time I don't know whether to say "Ma'am" or "Sir" so I just don't say anything gender-specific at all. Some people sound like they're old and they aren't. Some people sound rich and well-groomed and they aren't. Some people sound mean but have kind faces. I'm surprised almost every time.

Anyway, enough about the boring life of a "quick-casual" worker. Oh? You didn't know that it isn't all "fast food" when it comes to drive-thrus? Well.

Here's the big news: the hubbers is a student again! Woo hoo!

*There are cameras where I work and the owner watches them from his house almost all the time. I know because, one time, someone accidentally put a box in front of a camera and he called within five minutes to say he couldn't see us anymore. Sorry! We unpersons were too busy committing thoughtcrimes while you weren't looking, Big Brother.


Brynn said...

oh bradz... that is awesome... and takes me back to deli days where majority of our convos were bitchin about customers and their inability to handle food orders with any sense of urgency or just... sense! love it love it. now you can make cute signs for work like: if you have two windows but only use the one- a cute little sign that says please pull to the next window, or no smoking near the window please :) or until you got in trouble; a tip cup! classic. i would enjoy seeing a tip cup at drive throughs. oh and I totally feel the same about feeling complicated even when your not at drive-throughs. its just awkward really.

SO said...

Do people seriously ask for soda's like that?

And you look sexy as big brother.

Tom and Juli said...

Your manager sounds creepster. Hopefully he's not as creepy as her sounds.

I try to be extra polite at drive thru's... you'd be proud. However, I am known to say "no onions please" on a regular basis, sorry!

Madalyn :) said...

I'm so glad to hear that I order things correctly when I go through the drive thru... wahoo! And I find it kind of creepy that he sits @ home watching you guys...ummm weird!

Nick and Emily said...

whoa. thats kinda creepy about the cameras.

and i think you probably wouldn't like me as a drive through girl. i always make it messy. no bun. can you even imagine how confused people get? they think i'm crazy. it takes them like 5 minutes every time to find the dang "no bun" button. ha ha.

and lastly that's funny that people ask for soda's like that. how crazy.

Mon said...

bahaha! bradie you are so cute. Down with Big Brother!